SINGLES

SINGLES

Perhaps you are single because you have never married. Maybe you are single again because you are no longer in a relationship or marriage. Do you want to be single? Some do, most do not.

As a counselor the biggest issue singles bring to me is their unhappiness with not being in a love relationship. Many women discuss their distress with dating a man, falling in love, and then finding out that the man is married. He was playing her for sex or his amusement. Some women say they are lonely because they do not know how to relate to men and want to be educated as to what men are like. Many men want a relationship with a woman but say they do not understand how to relate to them. Much of this misery comes about in men and women who grew up without siblings, friends, or cousins of the opposite sex and simply feel ignorant. Another reason is that the single person does not have the relationship skills necessary to win a partner. Many have been damaged by early childhood sexual abuse or rape as teenagers or young adults.

Singles that have allowed me to help them get into a love relationship say that they appreciate three things: I’m easy to talk with, am not judgmental, and know a lot about both men and women. One big plus that I have added in the past year is the introduction of the Eight Skills to teach them how to relate better to the opposite sex. Relationship does not have to be that difficult! Once a single person learns basics about how the opposite sex thinks and is allowed to meet other singles in a safe environment, falling in love can be easy. Like in any relationship, each has to appreciate self and the other, know how to listen and understand where the other is coming from, learn one’s own emotions and those of the other person and learn the skills of talking though meaningful issues. It doesn’t have to be that hard. Falling in love is actually the easy part. Learning how to continue loving when the new wears off is the biggest challenge. Even men and women scarred by traumatic events can use those events to get closer to the other person. And finding Mr or Ms Right? There are easier ways than dating apps.