Do you love your narcissist? I personally like narcissists. If you have married one you should feel happy. He (it’s usually a he) chose you from all the others. Why did he do that? What was it about you that attracted him? When you learn what that is you will be closer to learning the most effective ways to make him respond to you with more love and respect.
Why does it seem that your narcissist finds it difficult to love you? You could read a lot about narcissists on the Internet and I promise you it will confuse you. Advice is handed out left and right and most of it is too general. For instance, “appeal to his ego.” Sweet! What does that mean, exactly. “Play hot and cold.” Dangerous advice! “Get all gussed up to look like the prize he married.” Dumb to dumber. If you want to know why he finds it difficult to love you, you must learn to listen to his words. Moreover, you must understand what he means by his words. In America, none of us have the skills to listen or hear. We have always interpreted what we thought the other meant. That won’t work with a narcissist. You must learn the skills of listening and hearing and that is hard to do. It takes me three hours to teach each of those two skills.
Why does your narcissist get angry so much? This goes back to the nature of the narcissist. What, for instance, is the nature of the Great White Shark? It swims and eats, period. Could anger be in the nature of the narcissist? Selfishness? Need to control? Should you just get out of the way of the Great White Shark and let him do what he does best in hopes that you are not his next victim? How is your narcissist like the Great White Shark?
How many unanswered questions do you have about your narcissist? In my experience as a counselor working with family members of a narcissist, they have lots of unanswered questions and nowhere to get the best information. Email me at [email protected]. I’ll try to give you encouragement to how to love your narcissist. He wants to be loved just like everybody else. Just like you do.