Frustrations of the Narcissistic Personality Disorder
I once had a neighbor who had the Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Often I would say of him that I would not want to live even five seconds inside his brain. He was constantly in torment and he drove everybody around him to distraction. He felt entitled to have anything he wanted. In comparison to the true narcissist who easily acquires all the money and things he wants except for love, it frustrated this man to no end that he had trouble making ends meet. The sense of importance was only an expectation because he never felt that others thought him important. Thus, he continually tried to prove that he was an important person. Bullying was one tactic. Of course he was preoccupied with power and a high-ranking position at work and failed there too. He needed to spend his time with important people in order to feel that he was one, but those people shunned him. They didn’t like his arrogance and lack of empathy. So he found ways to exploit others for his own gain and stayed angry at anybody that did not admire him. Do you see why I wouldn’t want to be in his mind for even five seconds?
Now, for clarification, a Narcissist is not considered to be a Narcissistic Personality Disorder. The word is being used too often in our society by people who have no idea what a real narcissist is. To me a narcissist has a fine personality worthy of envy by anybody wanting to make fortunes and acquire lots of stuff. Like the disorder, however, they also have little ability to truly love another. They tend to try to buy love with all their money and fine gifts they give. Another reason is the lack of empathy and another is feelings of entitlement to have the love of another that never comes as an entitlement. And they don’t know how to work at loving the other. Too often their sense of entitlement causes infidelity that destroys trust and love at the same time.
Successful love relationships are difficult for narcissists and over time I have developed methods of marriage counseling to help them have more love. If you know of anybody struggling with marriage either as the narcissist or wife of one that wants to experience more love, or even stop a divorce, have them email me at [email protected].
Lane A Stokes, LPC, SMHC CounselingServicesAtlanta.com 404-487-1956