Jerry was five when he watched his mother drive away. He felt abandoned. Life was over. He was not actually abandoned because she returned the next week for her court-designated visit. Still he felt abandoned. When his father attempted to talk to him, even feed him, Jerry was silent.
Now at 58, when Jerry watches his wife drive away, perhaps to the grocery store, he feels abandoned. When she returns and talks about what she bought for them, Jerry looks at her without response. Their entire marriage of six years has been like this one day. She talks and he stares at her without response. How would you like to live with somebody that wouldn’t talk to you for no apparent reason?
Communication becomes very difficult in relationship or marriage due to childhood memories stored in the Unconscious Mind. Jerry felt abandoned at age five. That memory and the emotions felt at that time were immediately stored in the Unconscious Mind. Fifty three years later when Jerry watched his wife drive to the store, that memory from childhood is “triggered.” Both the memory and the feelings from 53 years ago take over the present. He cannot function normally as a husband when she returns. Many couples spend their entire lifetimes adjusting to the silence of one because they have no idea why he or she acts in this way. If you are one of these, aren’t you tired of the silence? Let me help.
For 27 years I’ve helped couples like you or family members talk through these “dead zones” when communication seems impossible. One has to be trained to “see” what causes the dead zones. I have. Call me and let’s get you talking again. Remember, talking is the best form of loving.
Lane A Stokes, LPC CounselingServicesAtlanta.com 404-487-1956
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