How can I ever thank you enough? Not only did you give me back my voice, you showed me other options for using it other than show business. I’ve decided to take a government job.   It won’t be as glamorous and the chicks won’t be covering me up (ha ha), but I’ll get some sleep and make a contribution to kids in ways I never could as a star. Thank you for teaching me to love my mother again and to accept the weaknesses of my father. I’ll be seeing you,


——————————————————————————————————————-Dear Lane

When I was first diagnosed as a borderline and learned what it meant, I nearly gave up all hope. My kids were driving me crazy, I wasn’t able to work, and my ex wouldn’t send any child support. It’s magic what you’ve done in the past two years. I have a great job paying more than most of my friends get, they give me responsibility and I’m able to handle it. My kids have more respect for me and Cherie is talking to me more like an adult than a child now. Wayne is back with his girlfriend and they are raising that baby the right way now. And a lot of this is because of that memory we found when I was 12, isn’t it? To think that I was controlled by something I couldn’t remember. It just blows my mind that you could find it, and so quick. There are so many times when I’m struggling with some problem and am about to give up, I see your face and hear you talking and know that I can do it and it will be fine. Mama is dying but at least you helped me forgive her and get back to talking to her before it was too late. I hated her for so long for what she did to us, and forgiving her was the right thing to do. Thank you for that. I’d better go know, but I wanted to thank you again for all you have done for us.


Dear Rev Stokes,

Lila and me want to thank you formally for what you did for us. Before we joined that group of your’s at church we couldn’t hardly talk to each other without screaming. It was so bad. But you taught us to talk, calmly, and to listen to one another without interruption. We got into a fight yesterday and I walked out I was so mad. But then I thunk about it and went right back in and told Lila we had to sit down and pass the pencil please. It worked. I apologized and we made up. We would have divorced if it hadn’t been for you. I thank God and church for you coming to help all of us out.


Dear Lane,

Thank you for letting me be a part of your listening class. Me and Janet have talked a lot about all that and she thinks you did me a lot of good. She said that she had never known I was so smart. I didn’t either. I see what you mean about how we interpret so young that we don’t learn how to communicate. It was like you put us through the baby steps we never had and it makes sense. We have practiced the steps since we were there and will be there Tuesday. I was supposed to be somewhere else but cancelled it because this is more important for our marriage.

Your new friend,



Dear Reverend Stokes,

Thank you for sticking by me all this time. Nobody else has. I’ve had 12 counselors since I was 15, but you are the only one who hasn’t left me. I used to fear that you would leave too, but there is something different about you. It’s like you understand me and accept me. When I threw that Kleenex box at you I thought you would leave for sure and when I called you all those names. You’re different. You say that I need to get angry and show it. My Daddy used to beat me for that and Mom would give me the silent treatment. They made me feel stupid but you don’t. You say I’m smart and I like to hear it even though I know I’m not. Thank you for helping me keep my friend and make another. I’ve never had two friends before. It does feel good. I still hate it that I have to call Mom to ask her what I should wear, but I think your mix and match list has helped me not call her so much. You’re right about me giving Jay everything he wants. He’s leaving me. I know it. I know I’m writing too much. I can hear you saying it, but it feels so good to have somebody to write who will read it and not hate me. Thank you, thank you, thank you. I’ll see you Wednesday.



I don’t how I could live without you. This last time I tried to leave my job at UPS was to fly a helicopter in Iraq. How crazy was that. Thank you for talking me out of it. Your friend C.W.

Dear Mr. Stokes,

I want you to know that I got my inheritance and am doing well. It was hell living with my father controlling me all my life and telling me what to do. If you hadn’t taught me how to stand up to him, I’d still be living in hell. Thank you.





Thank you for being my wife and forgiving me. I talked to my kids and they have forgiven me too. It is funny how easy it was to give up the pornograpy and whores after we did that rollplay. I hadn’t ever done nothing like that. If I ever find anybody else who is trapped by a sex addiction I’m gonna send them to you.



Dear Reverend Stokes,

This had to be God getting us back together again. It has been seven years since God forgave me through you. Like I told you on the phone, I’m happily married and have two great kids. Life is sweet and I have to say it is all because of you. You remember how messed up I was in that seminar, crying, screaming and nobody wanted to sit with me. And the ONE important exercise you were the only person left. I hated to upset you too, but I needed help, Oh God did I need help and you were Him (I don’t mean any disrespect, you know, but you were God like I wanted. I will never forget you. I pray every night for God to give you all you want. Do you ever see any of the others? Of course I don’t because I’m here in Texas, but those people were from all over weren’t they. My baby is calling me and I’ve got to go. God bless you.


“In April of 1992 I hired Lane Stokes to interview 15 salespersons for one position in our old, established company in Atlanta, Georgia. Out of those 15 he presented me with the top three recommendations. I took each out to lunch and disqualified all three according to hiring tips I had gotten from others. It didn’t matter because I really wanted to hire a young man that I liked that was then available. Mr. Stokes interviewed him and wrote in big letters across that application “NO NO NO NO!”. He told me that although the man tested fine, Mr. Stokes’s intuition warned of some unseen problem. I ignored his advice and hired the young man.

Six months later I called Mr. Stokes to tell him how right he had been. The young man was an alcoholic who destroyed the sales territory it had taken me 20 years to develop. Finding the sales agent drunk under his desk one day, I also found orders written weeks before that he had not turned in for processing and checks that had not been deposited. Talking to some of my “former” clients, they told me how rude my agent had been to them. Our fine old business went bankrupt within 12 months—all because I ignored the advice of Lane Stokes.”

J.T. , Company name withheld

Reverend Stokes,

The choir is humming along thanks to you. I never could have become the choir director without your encouragement. Joyce kept telling me that I could do it but it took you telling me too. You were right—once I talked to them about going to the district to learn how to sing notes they were enthusiastic and it worked, as you have heard. I bought the sound system because I wanted the soloists to be heard, especially Ann. She has such a sweet clear voice. And you know what? I bet you haven’t heard. We got an invitation to sing in Cedartown. We’re on the road now, can you believe it! Thank you again for encouraging and believing in me. And thanks for teaching me to pray in public. I was so shocked and scared, but I did it. It was something I always wanted to do but was afraid. Thank you for everything you did for me and for all of us. May God be the Glory.




When Bob left us, I didn’t think we were going to make it. The kids were eating me alive after three years. They were in control and I was hanging on for dear life. Then you came in. It seemed so easy with you. You taught all three of us to speak with respect and love. You taught me a lot and that “natural consequences” method saved the day. Janet wouldn’t have obeyed me, but she obeyed herself. Jimmie has become a new person. You wouldn’t believe how responsible he has become since you told him that he was the man in the house. He not only does his assigned chores, he even helps Janet and me without being asked. Thank you again from the bottom of my heart for saving us.


Six Months Later

Bob called me and says he wants to come back. I haven’t told the kids yet because their finals are coming up and I don’t want them agitated. I don’t want Bob in a way and somehow I do. We can make it financially without him but I wonder if it would be best for the children. I just don’t want him to get mad and leave again. We just couldn’t take it. Could you come over next week and have a family session with us. Let us all say what we feel. You’re so good at being a referee. Please let me know as soon as you can.



” I was hired for a sales job and asked Lane Stokes to train me to exceed previous goals. Because of my boring presentations, about 80% of prospects were saying, “I’m not interested” and hanging up. After completing Lane’s three hour assessment, he pinpointed the most urgent personality traits to overcome in me and began with role-play on the telephone as if I were talking to customers. He trained me to grab the attention of a prospective buyer within 10 seconds and then had me call a lead I had for a prospective buyer. I couldn’t believe it! Not only did the man not hang up, but he seemed genuinely interested in hearing what I had to say and insisted on giving me an appointment. For the next three days, Lane trained me by telephone until I felt my self-confidence soaring. I begged for another opportunity to call a lead and it was more amazing than the first. It was unreal as I felt myself “clicking” in my connection with that prospect and that became the norm for me in sales, even in person. No matter how rough the very beginning of a conversation, I quickly felt that “clicking” as I connected. I highly recommend Lane as a sales coach.”

P. J.



I got a job in 1 month after doing that thing with you. I couldn’t believe it! Nobody is getting a job now with 40 million people looking. I do believe the guy was looking for just me and that has got to be a spiritual connection. Do you have any program for getting sales prospects to buy in the same “magical” way? Let me know.

T.J. 2010


Dear Reverend Stokes,

I apologize for the way I talked to you last month. I guess I’m just too sensitive about my relationship with Jesus and the Holy Spirit and I thought that you were saying that they are not enough for me. I understand now that you meant that I need people too, that just praying is not enough when I get lonely. All those people I never met before accepted me right off, especially when they found out that I can set and spike. I’m one of the few that can serve overhanded and that makes me feel good too. We played about seven games and nobody wanted to go home—not even me. I’ll be a the center again this Sunday and hope to see you there.




I’m being shipped out to Viet Nam next week and I wanted to write you just in case I don’t make it back home. You remember Harry, he got shot down Wednesday but they got his body. He lives out in Texas so maybe you’ll get to play taps over him. That is a great thing you do. I still don’t have those nightmares and I never see the guy sitting under my bunk with the knife and evil look on his face. I haven’t terrified my roommates by throwing “snakes” across the room and I don’t see Satan in the shower. I still love Jesus and he keeps me safe. I know he’ll guard over me in Viet Nam and keep me safe, but I’m scared to death anyhow. I still remember Pastor Griffith and the good times we had together. I wish you were here, Brother, so you could bless me when I leave, but I know God has plenty for you to do there. I hope there’s nobody as crazy as me, huh. I’ll send you my address in Viet Nam as soon as I get it and we can write each other—please. What can I say? You saved my life in more ways than one. You were the only one who understood my nightmares and visions and you knew how to stop them from tormenting me. Bless you, Brother, and I’ll be seeing you.