When you hire an experienced counselor of 25 years or more, you will learn new ways of thinking and processing information that last. I’m always fascinated when a client from the past comes in for a new issue. He or she will talk about the issue at what I describe as a higher level of consciousness. This expresses itself deeper in the psyche. It’s a greater understanding of the problem than he or she had during our previous sessions months ago. For some issues, I’m sitting there saying to myself, “Make the connection! Don’t you see where you are going with this?”
Sometimes they do make the connection that resolves the issue. Sometimes they make it in part in preparation for making it complete later.

Let me give you a typical example of men and women. He wants more sex and she wants more love. He can’t quite make the connection that sending her cards or flowers means more to her in terms of love than having sex. So when their relationship has gotten bogged down and she says plainly that she wants special attention like cards and flowers, he cannot see how her feeling romantic love for him again could lead to sex. Women often lose the desire after children are born and he has to re-start it by wooing her. His thoughts are wanting her to jump in the sack like in the beginning when both were hot for sex alone. But, because of the previous counseling he is more apt to make the connection. The free benefit of counseling, then, is the the carryover into the months and years to come of more effective ways of making love connections.

Lane A Stokes, LPC CounselingServiceAtlanta.com 404-487-1956

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