Hidden Resentments are a major problem in love relationships. Whether it be communication between family members, couples, friends, or just getting to know oneself, these hidden resentments must be discovered and deactivated. The key word is “hidden”. Think of them as land minds buried in the dirt, waiting for a boot or tire to set them off. That makes them totally unexpected. If you are not expecting the resentment to all of a sudden upset your conversation, you might say or do something to make the situation worse. This is too often what happens. How can one discover the resentment before it interferes with his or her love relationship? Metal detectors are one method for finding landmines. What method could you use to discover hidden resentments?
The great majority of people have no methods for discovering hidden resentment. They just keep stepping on the “mines” until the relationship is destroyed. Smarter ones seek professional help in counseling, but that is not a solution if the wrong method of counseling is used. The gold standard for counseling has long been Person-Centered. The person or persons talk and the counselor listens. The client is responsible for discovering and resolving his or her own issues. This could take years depending on the number of issues. He or she could easily overlook “hidden resentments” because normal talking does not reveal them.
Good counselors will identify the hidden resentments long before the clients do. This is necessary for Person-Centered where the counselor’s job is to help the client know when he or she or “getting warm”. The idea is that the client make the discovery as in the Gestalt “A Ha” when the light bulb goes off. But even good counselors can’t identify some deeper issues without use of psychoanalytic therapy, one of the methods I use. I learned early that life moves too fast for clients to spend years discovering issues that make them unhappy.
Hidden resentments respond well to my newer methods. I call them Counseling Condensed. Without my methods, individuals and couples would probably never discover what their hidden reseentments are. Take a moment and think what you resent. It’s hard to do because unconsciously we humans erect barriers around these intense feelings and then barrier defenses beyond them. It’s much like the series of barriers alcoholics erect to prevent anybody–including the self–from discovering what caused the alcoholism in the first place. Discovering one’s hidden resentments is a long, dark journey, scary at times, but with a glorious ending.
Let me help you learn how to discover one of your hidden resentments. It will probably change your entire life to find out out deep you have to go to find the hidden resentment. You will learn how strong you actually are, how powerful you are in overcoming that hidden resentment that has controlled your entire life. Find us at CounselingServicesAtlanta.com.