How many marriages are destroyed each year because either the man or woman decides not to have it anymore? Millions. Sex is a huge part of love communication. Not having it is like trying to fly an airplane with one wing.
Why is sex so important for love? Could it have to do with the fact that men and women are different? Exactly. Women experience feeling and expressing love best through loving words and psychological acts. Men express and feel love best through the physical act of having sex. Like any part of marital communication, sex must be practiced and talked about until both are satisfied with the frequency and way that they do it.
What are the primary reasons for avoiding communication about sex? Embarassment and aging. Either the man or woman feels embarassed in talking about the foreplay, preferred positions, need for orgasms, etc. This is when a professional counselor is needed. Many times after a baby is born and the woman loses desire for sex temporarily, she stops both from the enjoyment of sex. Sometimes when a woman reaches age 40 she decides that she doesn’t enjoy it anymore and avoids having it. Its not her decision to make. She must continue having sex and having those conversations around the act that builds intimacy.
Does either have the marital right to sex? Yes. It is an ancient law called Conjugal Rights. It began with the ancient semitic tribes of Judea. Wise individuals recognized the vital nature of sex in marriage and wrote it in the Law. That was good for those who would come after and decide that they wanted to ignore this most vital part of love’s expression.
Don’t be one of the millions who lose love early because of personal preference or feelings of aversion. Hire a good counselor to help you through the reluctance or refusal. Love and marriage are too important to throw away because of just one of the many adjustments that must be made in love and marriage.
Lane A Stokes, LPC CounselingServicesAtlanta.com 404-487-1956 [email protected]