Are you sure it’s love you feel for him or could it be only an illusion? Do you feel good about yourself when you are with him? Does he say all the right things but offers only empty promises? When you argue, do you usually feel that you are the cause of the disagreement? Does he lavish you with expensive gifts or does he lavish gifts upon himself and expect you to pay for them? Does it seem like he feels entitled to the money he makes and also the money you make? Have both of you accumulated savings for college education of your children and your retirement or does he always have something else that he wants to spend your money on? Of course, he reminds you that you also love spending money on you.
How many women would you guess believe that their love for spouse is an illusion rather than a reality? The numbers would shock you. Illusions are common. They are what the wife hides behind to fool herself in believing that he really loves and cherishes her. Want to take a little test? How often do you feel your husband is making love to you rather than just having sex? How much of sex for him is performance? When you’re with friends, does he make you the center of his attention or must everything be about him, the center of attention? How often does he express appreciation for who you are or even acknowledge you for something you have done? According to Maslow, feeling appreciated is as important as having air to breath or food to eat.
Life can be boring and dull without you feeling loved. It can be just as deadly when you feel that he cannot accept the love and devotion you give him. Isn’t it time to be honest about how you really feel? How can you separate the love you feel from the routine of giving him all your love without feeling equal reciprocation?
These are many important questions for a woman in love. Think carefully about how you answer them.
Lane A Stokes, LPC CounselingServicesAtlanta.com 404-487-1956
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