WHO WILL SHE TALK TO NOW?
Who will she talk to now that you are running away for the third time? If you have seen the Netflix movie “Atypical”, you know that the wife did not TALK to her husband about feeling useless and had an affair instead. Their daughter saw the mother kissing the stranger and did not TALK to her mother, but instead gave up her virginity out of spite and wrote a message on the kitchen board. The father saw the note and did not TALK to his wife, but left her again for the third time. The daughter needed her father to stay home because he was the only person she could TALK to in her critical time of need. This is not “Atypical” but very typical of American marriages and family relationships. Oh, if we could only learn to TALK, how many complicated problems we would avoid—how many separations and divorces and broken children we could avoid! And it’s not that difficult to learn how to talk.
We all learned to talk by age three but we did not learn how to talk in relationship. We did not learn because our parents did not teach us. They did not teach us because they didn’t know how because their parents had not taught them because their parents didn’t know how. If you want to learn to teach your children how to talk when they get married, you will have to teach them how to talk to you now. This means that you will have to hire a teacher to teach you. I teach people how to talk.
I teach couples and families how to talk. It is not very difficult to teach and it is not very difficult to learn. The main barrier is pride and stubbornness: “I don’t need help.” If you didn’t’ need help, you would be doing it now. Another barrier is fear: “I don’t know what to expect.” Overcome both these objections by action. Find a counselor in your zip code recommended by Psychology Today whose profile you like. Call that therapist for a chat. If you feel comfortable talking to the counselor set an appointment and go learn how to talk with the person in which you are in relationship. That’s all it is to it! If you live near Roswell GA you may contact me, Lane Stokes, at firstname.lastname@example.org.