8 Skills for Couples

8 Skills for Couples

Relationships and marriages fail, not because the two are bad people, but simply because they do not possess the necessary skills. Most of us grow up learning ineffective skills for relating to others. While a couple is learning these 8 skills they notice how quickly their relationship improves.

Why do couples argue? It is usually because neither listens to what the other is saying or cannot remember all facts. The person then attempts to answer without all the facts and the conversation quickly becomes an argument. Or, one of the mates will feel that the other does not understand what he or she means by what is said. Neither has learned the skills necessary to prevent either of these problems from occurring. Too many arguments can prevent the couple from having sex, one of the vital needs for a good marriage. I’ve had many couples come to marriage counseling not having had sex for months or years simply because they had not learned the basic skills that would prevent an argument.

In the beginning of a love relationship the Love Chemicals trick the couple into believing that they have a close intimate relationship where words are not necessary for understanding what is happening. When those chemicals wear off in six months or so, the couple wonders why they no longer feel that connection. Now they have to expend 1000 words to explain what one is feeling. Two of the 8 Skills teach the couple how to permanently have that “magical” emotional connection. Consider this example:

A couple enjoys gardening. The water bill stated that they owed $175 more than normal. Jeff went out to look for the problem and found that the water hose for their lawn was running. He turned it off and told Mary. Neither knew who had left it on. Here was a good opportunity for them to blame one or the other, get angry and have a big fight. Instead, each expressed embarrassment and sadness and that was the end of it. Each had the ability to feel those emotions and that was the only communication needed. Hadn’t you rather be able to express one or two words instead of 1000 to have the other know what you feel? Hadn’t you rather not have an argument, but enjoy the peace, intimacy and loving of a great relationship? Then learning the 8 Skills is for you. Email [email protected] and find out how to begin learning these skills.