Two Before One Sex
Sex is vital for a vibrant and loving marriage. Regular sex produces feelings of closeness, well being, energy, focus, fun, self-confidence, productivity and aids in building intimacy. In the beginning of a relationship sex is fun, easy, and exciting as the “love chemicals” flood the bloodstream. When the love chemicals begin wearing off, sex happens less. Due to other things like fear of rejection, tiredness, stress, arguments, boredom and so forth couples tend to lose interest because they do not know how to get back “those loving feelings”. Couples must find effective ways to keep sex alive in relationship. The longer a couple is married, the harder it is. As a Marriage Counselor of 31 years, I’ve come up with a few creative ways to make having sex easier and more exciting
“Two Before One” is one of my “inventions”. Actually it has been done for centuries, so it is not new, but it seems new for the American male with the locker-room mentality. It is used to overcome despair found in women who routinely feel cheated of closeness, intimacy and orgasms. In high school, boys in the locker room were privy to the bragging of other boys who had recently “nailed” a particular girl. The most prized targets were the beautiful cheerleaders, especially the blonds with the long shapely legs and inverted sacrum’s. Many times the boy who bagged the girl bragged of doing it without even kissing her. These boys carried the locker-room mentality with them into adulthood and eventually marriage, sometimes leaving a trail of disappointed females in their wake. Most never learned what it meant to make love to a woman. How could they? Most of their fathers were of the “Wham-bam-thank-you-Ma’mam mentality” too.
As a Marriage Counselor, I teach men and women how to have exciting, satisfying, fun; phenomenal sex because I know how necessary sex is to marriage. I am a theologian and can tell those who believe that God created sex only for procreation are not giving God the credit due. Kissing is the most expressive of lovemaking but sex is the most powerful expression of love between a man and a woman. For a man and woman not committed to love, sex is a cruel joke.
“Two Before One” is an expression of love where the man makes sure his wife has two orgasms before he has one. That doesn’t happen by his sticking it in, running it around and getting his rocks off. It comes about by a relaxed mood of kissing, touching, tasting, stroking and love talk for a long period of time—at least an hour—preferably longer. On weekends and holidays, fifteen hours is a good target. If the man must have sex in less time, a combination of oral and genital sex works best. Wives should accept nothing less than “Two Before One.”
Lane A Stokes, LPC, SMHC, M.Div, MS, CPE
Marriage Counselor and Mental Health Specialist
Counseling Services Atlanta Group LLC